Parent Teacher Conferences November 24th & 25th
Thanksgiving Break November 26th, 27th, and 28th
PTA Skating Party Sunday, November 23rd
Parent Teacher Conferences November 24th & 25th Thanksgiving Break November 26th, 27th, and 28th
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SignUp Genius
Westgate will be using SignUp Genius as an electronic way to schedule Parent/Teacher Conferences for November 24th and November 25th. Families without access to the internet or a computer should contact your child’s teacher. On Monday, November 3rd at 10:00AM, all parents registered on SchoolMessenger will receive an electronic message with homeroom teacher’s link to SignUpGenius. Parent will need this link to use SingUpGenius for conferences. Parents will need to follow the Parent/Teacher Conference SignUpGenius info sheet (electronic sheet located in the Friday Packet and sent electronically through SchoolMessenger.) There are many staff members at Westgate with lots of different personalities, and your child is not going to like all of them! What one child might find structured and comforting, another might find restrictive and harsh. What one child finds flexible and exciting, another might find disorganized and stressful. Parents can help their child understand that they will meet lots of people in life who they won't like very much, but that they must show respect to everyone.
However, if you become uncomfortable with your child's reports about a staff member, approaching them in person or on the telephone (email can be easily misconstrued) in a collaborative, non-threatening manner can help open the communication channels. Most of the time, there has been a misunderstanding that the staff member can quickly resolve with your child. If you still feel that the issue has not been resolved after speaking with the staff member, contact the administration to help mediate the problem. Westgate was excited to host author Amy Logan who shared how each student can be a superhero by spreading kindness every day! Students wore capes to celebrate the visit, and Ms. Logan shared her story, "A Girl With A Cape," with the whole school. Most people don't see the effect of all their kind acts, which can lead to disappointment and a sense of futility. Ms. Logan's book explores how even the smallest kind acts make a huge difference in the world - even though we might not know it. Now is a great time, on the heels of this assembly, to talk to your children about showing kindness every day - every kid can be a superhero!!! To get a copy of the book, find resources to use at home, and to learn how to get a personal letter from the author, visit www.rockthecape.com!
Watch this very cool video of some Westgate leaders teaching the school the hand signals for the 7 Habits on the morning announcements: http://vimeo.com/108619802.
For some households, a pet is another member of the family. When that pet dies, this can lead to real grief for your child. Children's understanding of death depends on their developmental stage, so it can be helpful to have some understanding of that as you help your child deal with their grief over a lost pet. KidsHealth.org has a great article, When a Pet Dies, that provides practical advice for helping kids of different age and maturity levels.
If your child is having a very difficult time handling the death of a pet, let their teacher know. This will help them be especially sensitive to your child's feelings at such a difficult time. In addition, if you think they could benefit from talking to the social worker, feel free to give us a call and request we meet with your child once or twice. We can do such things as sharing happy memories about their animal friend, drawing pictures to help remember their pet, or just letting them have a moment to cry when the shock is still particularly fresh. Children deal with grief differently, depending on personality and age. It is important to understand your child's developmental understanding of death when helping them grieve. KidsHealth.org's article, Helping Your Child Deal With Death provides some background on developmental understandings of death and how to approach it with your child. It is always important to create an a safe environment for children to ask any questions and feel any feelings (some of them might surprise you). There is no right or wrong way for a child to handle the death of a loved one, and you as the adult will not have all the answers. You will certainly need help along the way. Willow House is an example of one organization in the area that provides services to help children and families deal with grief. You will also need assistance from your school community, and the staff at Westgate is here to help.
It is always a good idea to inform your child's teacher of the death so they can be particularly sensitive to your child's unique needs at such a difficult time. In addition, we recommend talking to one of the social workers at Westgate, as we can provide resources in the area and meet with your child to help them process their feelings. Recess can be a difficult time for many students. Because it is less structured, there are more opportunities for conflict to arise. At Westgate there are several adult playground monitors who are constantly watching to make sure play remains safe and to help referee arguments, but there is no way they can prevent every conflict that arises on the playground. Recess is an important time for students to practice problem-solving skills, and it is good for adults to "stay out" of most of these disagreements. However, if your child consistently comes home complaining about problems at recess, they may need some guidance about how to navigate the playground. If your child reports frequent, targeted, unprovoked abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, verbal) from other students, contact school administration.
1. Review coping mechanisms with your child. Teach your child ways to calm down on the playground when they have a conflict with another child. This will help them keep the problems small. Walking away, taking some deep breaths, finding another child to play with, counting to 10 - there are lots of ways to help a child keep themselves calm. (See Your child complains of problems with other kids at school for more tips on resolving conflict.) 2. Help them PLAN their recesses. Before school, discuss what your child will play at recess, who they will play with, and what they will do if they're starting to have problems. You'd be amazed what a little preparation can do for a kid! Even writing it down on a piece of paper to remind them and creating a script of "what to say if there's a problem" can help a child feel more in control. 3. What to do if they're being teased (in a mean way). I think it's really important for students to have a go-to plan for if they're being teased. The books The Hero in Me, by Susan Fitzsimonds, and Simon's Hook, Karen Gedig Burnett, offer practical solutions for handling teasing. Some children are very sensitive and assume everyone is teasing them even when they're not, and Tease Monster by Julia Cook can be helpful for these students. I always remind kids that teasers are looking for a reaction, and they usually stop after awhile if you don't give them one. Five practical tips are as follows (from Simon's Hook): 1. Do little or nothing (don't react) 2. Agree with them teaser - that really throws them off! 3. Distract the teaser - change the subject 4. Laugh or make a joke 5. Stay away from the teasers You'd be surprised how many children continue to play with the kids who are bothering them; sometimes they need to be encouraged to go to a totally different part of the playground and play with some new kids. But remember, this is for occasional, mild teasing among children who are relative social equals. If a student with more power is consistently targeting your child for humiliation or physical attacks or any kind, adult intervention is required and administration should be contacted. 4. What to do if they can't find anyone to play with. Some students prefer playing by themselves at recess occasionally or even regularly. It can be a time when they decompress from all the social interacting they've done all day. But if your child wants to but feels they can't find anyone to play with, try the following ideas: 1. Help them practice and memorize a script for asking to join in some play - some children spend all their time by themselves because they're too afraid to ask to join in. 2. Help them choose a "buddy" they can meet right before recess to play with. BE CAREFUL, though. Some children end up latching onto the buddy and try to prevent them from playing with anyone else, which will alienate peers. 3. Encourage them to join in on a recurring recess activity, such as 4-square, wall-ball, or basketball. Anyone can join these games and the rules are pretty clear, leaving little room for social anxiety. Conflict between students is very common (and even important) in elementary school as students learn how to navigate social situations like playing, sharing, making friends, working as a team, and dealing with frustration. It is very normal for children to come home and complain about issues with other students. How you, as the caregiver, respond to their complaints will be instrumental in how they handle conflict.
1. Let them know that conflict is a normal part of growing up. Helping your child understand that all kids, even the best of friends, sometimes have disagreements will lead to less drama and better coping. All children need direct instruction on how to handle disagreements. Here are a few I like to share with students: - Never get physical! - Stop, Think, and Calm yourself down before you say or do something you might regret (teach them coping skills like walking away, taking deep breaths, counting to 10, etc). - Habit #5 from The Leader in Me: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood. - Try to Talk things out - LISTEN to the other kid! - Assume good intent - some kids think others are out to get them and end up making a mountain out of a molehill! - Realize you can't control other people - you can only control yourself. 2. Make a habit of talking about your child's day. Get to know who your child plays with, what games they play, who they like (or don't like) in their class. This is one way to Be Proactive (Leader in Me Habit #1) as a parent and anticipate any small problems with school friends before they become great big problems! 3. Avoid "coming to the rescue." Children need to learn how to handle their own conflicts - it will help them prepare for what they will face in adulthood. If you attempt to fix problems for your child, even behind the scenes, he or she will have a harder time building that life skill and suffer for it later. In your daily conversations, ask them how they think a problem should be solved - then encourage them to try out the solutions! 4. Encourage your child to think about how they might have contributed to a conflict. I'm sure you've noticed that many children do not like to talk about their role in a conflict with another student! It's hard for anybody to do so, but it's an important part of building self-reflection skills and can often diffuse a situation quickly. If your child is willing to take part of the blame, the other student will most likely be willing to let down some of their defenses and talk about coming to a solution. 5. Sometimes students just need to take a break from each other! When two kids who spend all their time together also seem to be spending all their time fighting, it may be time for them to take a break from one another, even if only for a day or two. I usually recommend a week. This gives them a chance to connect with other friends and get a little space. When they come back together, it's often a good idea for them to decide on some "group rules" and a "problem-solving plan" for their friendship so they know what to do when conflicts resurface. If you believe your child is being targeted and repeatedly victimized by another student, you should contact administration, Principal Badynee or Vice Principal Klarner, with your concerns. Students who consistently try to avoid going to school (either by putting up a big fuss, feigning illness, or any other delaying tactic) are demonstrating school refusal. Elementary school students may dawdle in the morning, cry and cling to their parent or caregiver, or even actively refuse to move when confronted with entering the school. Students may exhibit school refusal for many reasons, but the most common is separation anxiety – they do not want to leave the parent or caregiver.
Students exhibiting school refusal must understand that you as the parent consider school attendance NON-NEGOTIABLE. If you allow them to stay home one day because they are making a big fuss about going in, they will remember that and put up an even bigger fuss next time hoping it will work again. This will become very tiresome and frustrating for you! Here are some important steps to take if your child is exhibiting school refusal: 1. Talk to your child. Ask them why they do not want to go to school. See if you can help them work out a solution to any problems they are facing at school. If it is a separation anxiety problem, sending your child to school with a special item to remember you by can be helpful (a photo, perhaps). Work out ways to spend quality time together at home. 2. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO STAY HOME. Unless your child is sick, we highly recommend being very matter-of-fact about school attendance and getting them to school on time every day. Remember, you are the parent and you get to make the rules! Help your child understand that this is a non-negotiable rule and the law requires they come to school unless they are sick. 3. Talk to your child’s teacher. The teacher knows a lot about what is going on in the classroom. He or she may have some helpful insight. In addition, the teacher can help with the morning transition and provide lots of positive reinforcement for showing up to school on time. Some teachers allow students to come in a bit early if that helps with the transition, but not all teachers can offer this. 4. Better late than never! If you have a hard morning with your child and you’re running late (even by hours!), we still want to see that child in school! Let your child know that their teacher will be happy to see them, even if they’re late. If over a sustained period of time your child is being physical (kicking, punching, pushing, etc.) or actively refusing to move, you need professional assistance. At school, contact the child's teacher and the social worker. Seeing an outside therapist could also be helpful, and there are programs to assist students exhibiting severe school refusal. |
AuthorMr. Pawelski is the Integrated Services Social Worker. Archives
October 2017
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